College Dorms :: essays research papers

College Dorms MessageThe inventor of dormitories...lets find him, make him pay for the travesties hes visited on Americas youth, and force him to listen to Matchbox 20. Cant you see him designing these damn stacks of humanity many years ago? From the sidewalk he raised his hands triumphantly and said, "It shall be like the projects with less violence and more than marijuana" He then took lumber and Elmers Paste, as it is often called, to create these pet carrier sized rooms that we live in. You wanna know why stack from the projects hardly ever go to college? Its because they dont want to leave their lush surroundings.The actual term dormitory is of course derived from the Latin term for sleep, which is appropriate because that is all you bring in space to do. You have to do it standing up in the bathroom sink save it can be done. The luckier students have space to scratch their assses but the windows have to be open and their roommates have to be gone for the weekend. When you go home the closets even feel like a gymnasium, and you can romp more or less in the bathroom like a horny antelope. I cant imagine the kids who brought everything they own to the dorm. I brought like a condom and a sock. Next semester I hope to have a towel and the other sock. I also need a new condom. Forget having space to sleep. Who sleeps anyway? Nobody on my campus. I think its a rule. This one kid tried but no one knows what happened to him. Lets just say his floor mates never proverb him awake again. I feel like Im a member of the national insomnia coalition. 0ur agenda involves a lot of Frappaccino and staring at the test pattern on TV. Its like this strange pseudo-vampire lifestyle. Did you know that if you stay up late enough they playthe Tonight Show over again and it still isnt funny? No sleep really fucks with your eating habits too. Every night at 2 in the morning you get as hungry as a Bosnian and you have to go to the vending machine to watch the one bage l spin in the carousel of salmonella. People have White Zombie performing until 5 AM, which to me really encompasses my mood at 5 AM. I could be listening to Kenny G and it would seem hardcore at 5 in the morning.